Protomartyr St. Thecla First Female Christian Martyr

Protomartyr :  The Life of St. Thekla 

The Life of St. Thekla, a disciple and companion of the Apostle Paul in 1st century. She is given the title "Equal-to-the-Apostles" because she accompanied St. Paul in founding churches because her witness converted so many others to Christ, and she was the first woman martyr for the Christian Faith. In this current time more Christians are being martryed around the world than any time since the early Christian church. It is a good time to find out who our Spiritual Mothers in that  Cloud of Witnessess who have gone before us. 

Life of
SAINT THEKLA

According to ancient Syrian and Greek manuscripts, Saint Thekla was born into a prosperous pagan family in the Lycaonian city of Iconium (present-day Konya in south-central Turkey) in A.D. 16. When she was 18 years old and betrothed to a young man named Thamyris, Saint Paul the Apostle and Saint Barnabas arrived in Iconium from Antioch (Acts 14). Thekla’s mother Theokleia prohibited her from joining the crowds which gathered to hear Paul preach. But Thekla found that if she sat near her bedroom window she could hear his every word. Thekla sat there for three days and three nights listening to Paul preach the word of God. She was parti­cularly touched by his call to chastity. As it became apparent that Thekla was becoming interested in the new Faith, Theokleia and Thamyris went to the governor of the city and complained about Paul and his preaching. To pacify them and the other outraged citizens of Iconium, the governor had Paul imprisoned to await trial.
When Thekla learned of Paul’s arrest she secretly went to the prison, and using her golden bracelets to bribe the guard, gained admittance to his cell. When she saw the Apostle she knelt before him and kissed the chains which bound his hands and feet. She remained there a long time listening to his message of the Good News of Jesus Christ.
Being concerned at Thekla’s prolonged absence, Theokleia and Thamy­ris asked her servant if she knew where she was. The servant said that Thekla had gone to visit an imprisoned stranger. Theokleia and Thamyris knew at once that she was with Paul. They decided to go again to the governor, this time demanding immediate judgement for the Apostle. After the governor chastened Paul for the disturbances he had caused in the city, he had him stoned and expelled from Iconium. The governor then admon­ished Thekla for her foolishness and commanded her to return home with her mother and fiancé. When Thekla announced that she had vowed to remain a virgin for the sake of Christ, her mother became enraged and asked the governor to threaten Thekla with severe punishment. The gov­ernor complied with this wish and ruled that Thekla was to be burned at the stake unless she renounced her faith in Christ.
When Thekla refused to renounce her Heavenly Bridegroom, she was taken to the arena for punishment. As she was tied to the stake she saw a vision of Jesus Christ which gave her strength to face the flames. The fire was lit, but as the flames came near Thekla a thunderstorm suddenly arose and a great torrent of rain and hail came down from heaven and extinguished the flames. Embarrassed because his plan had failed, the angry governor released Thekla but commanded that she must leave Iconium at once.
Upon her release, Thekla went to the outskirts of the city where she rejoined Paul. She told him of her trial and miraculous escape from punish­ment and asked for baptism. Paul refused to baptize Thekla, saying that this would be accomplished in God’s own way and time. Paul and Thekla then departed from the region of Iconium and traveled to Antioch in Syria. As they were entering the city a young nobleman named Alexander saw Thekla. Being entranced by her beauty he rushed forward and tried to seduce her, but Thekla fought him off, thus disgracing him in front of his crowd of friends. Alexander went to the governor of Antioch and complained that this wandering girl had disgraced him, a nobleman, in public. He demanded that she be punished with death. The governor complied and ruled that Thekla would face the wild beasts in the arena. Thekla’s only reply was that she be allowed to preserve her virginity unto death. Her wish was granted and she was given into the care of the noblewoman Tryphaena, a relative of Caesar, until the time of punishment.
When Thekla was taken to the arena, a lioness was set free to attack her. But to the astonishment of the crowd, the lioness approached the Saint and sat tamely at her feet. A bear was then released, but as it came close to Thekla the lioness rose up to defend her and killed the bear. A large lion was then released. The lioness again came to Thekla’s defense killing the lion, but losing her own life also. Then all the cages were opened and a large number of wild animals charged at the defenseless Thekla. After crossing herself and praying for courage, the Saint noticed a large tank of water which was nearby, containing the aquatic animals. She climbed into the water, asking that she might be baptized by Christ as she did so. Seeing that the beasts were unable to harm Thekla, Alexander asked that the Saint be given over to him for punishment. He tied her to two large bulls in the hopes that they would pull her asunder. But when the bulls charged off in opposite directions, the ropes which held Thekla to them were miracu­lously loosened and she was spared. Seeing that no harm could be done to Thekla, the authorities released her. She went to the home of Tryphaena where she remained for eight days preaching the Good News of Jesus Christ and converting Tryphaena and her entire household. When she departed from Antioch, Tryphaena gave her a treasure in gold and precious jewels.
After she left Antioch, Thekla journeyed to Myra where she rejoined Paul. She informed him of all that had occurred, including her baptism and asked that she might be permitted to spend the remainder of her life as an ascetic. Paul gave her his blessing and she departed, leaving with Paul all the gold and jewels that Tryphaena had given her so that he might distribute them among the poor and needy.
Thekla then traveled again to Syria where she went up into the moun­tains for a life of prayer and solitude. Many years later a young pagan found her praying in an isolated canyon and resolved to harass her and spoil her virginity. As he approached her and blocked her only exit to safety, she prayed that her Bridegroom would protect her as He had so many times in the past. At that moment the canyon wall was miraculously split allowing her to escape through a narrow crack in the rock.
Saint Thekla continued her life of asceticism and then peacefully fell asleep in Christ at the age of 90. Shortly after her death a community of virgins went to live in her mountain cell, building a small chapel to en­shrine her body. This Convent of Saint Thekla still exists today near the village of Ma‘loula, Syria.
Because of her many sufferings for the Faith the Church counts her as a “Protomartyr”. And because she converted so many people to Christ­ianity she is also know as an “Equal-to-the-Apostles”.
Holy Saint Thekla, pray unto God for us!

O Glorious Thekla, companion of Paul the divine, thou wast inflamed with the love of thy Creator. By the teaching of the divine Preacher thou didst despise the passing earthly pleasures and offered thyself to God as an acceptable and pleasing sacrifice, disregarding all suffering. Intercede with Christ, thy Bridegroom, to grant us his great mercy.

Commemorated on September 24
Troparion (Tone 4) –

You were enlightened by the words of Paul, O Bride of God, Thekla,
And your faith was confirmed by Peter, O Chosen One of God.
You became the first sufferer and martyr among women,
By entering into the flames as into a place of gladness.
For when you accepted the Cross of Christ,
The demonic powers were frightened away.
O all-praised One, intercede before Christ God that our souls may be saved.

Kontakion (Tone 8) -

O glorious Thekla, virginity was your splendor,
The crown of martyrdom your adornment and the faith you trust!
You turned a burning fire into refreshing dew,
And with your prayers appeased pagan fury, O First Woman Martyr!

* this article is taken from the website of the Antiochian Christian Archdiocese of North America 

Posted 23 minutes ago by Contemplative Oasis

So great a Cloud of Witnessess Our Spiritual Mothers

Who are our Spiritual Mothers. Who for women is in that Great Cloud of Witnesses over time who call us to be strong in our faith and encourage us now. As Christmas approaches we enjoy the much brighter pictures of Mary but in many ways for many women in difficult persecution all over the world this picture is oddly current. We live in a time of the Greatest Persecution of Christians since or worse in numbers than the Persecutions of the Early Church. Perhaps it is a good time to get tow know our Spiritual Mothers.

The Story of St. Helena

St. Helena Feast Day of the Holy Cross

St Helena and the Holy Cross

September 14th is the day the Church whether that is Large Catholic or Anglican selects to remember St. Helena's pilgrimage to Jerusalem to retrieve a variety of sacred relics one of them she believed to be the original cross of Christ. Now if you think this is some lost piece of relic bit of it can still be found in the Vatican along with the original lance that pierce the side of Christ . Folks before Social Media took relics quite seriously and even if Helena was a bit eager and perhaps vulnerable and a prime target for relic rustlers the fact is that the Cross is a symbol that still holds our attention and is worthy of our respect. Today I called some friends who have started a new lay religious order in Canada for both married and single women called Daughters of the Holy Cross. Now this order comes out of the States but the first one in Canada is right here in Lower Mainland BC. So a solute to all the Daughters of the Holy Cross who like St. Helena hold their crosses in high regard .

Lectio Divina. Pray like a Monk. Youth cathecism

Lectio Divina ~ Fr. Cassian Folsom, O.S.B.

Lectio Divina - Guigo II

Psalm 119b - Beth - How Can A Young Man Keep His Way Pure?

Psalm 119a-Aleph - Blessed Are They Whose Ways Are Blameless

  
    Those who sing the Psalms-Pray twice

JESUS CLEANS 10 LEPERS 1OF2.avi

Ruth and Boaz,,,,Foreshadows of Finding the Man who Loves Me.

 

       My Bible in a Year reading this week take me into the book of Ruth. It is interesting that while looking for scriptural stories about Finding the Man who Loves Me my readings should find me in the Old Testament. There is the lovely foreshadowing of the Love of Christ and his respect and care for women in the person of Boaz along with the portrayal of a strong faithful woman in the love of Ruth. Ruth like many of the stories of women in the New Testament is a convert. She does not have the same status as Israelite women and there is some sketchy history around Moabites in general let alone Moabite women so to put it mildly Ruth was in serious need of a Protector.

   There is a type of Love reflected for Naomi by Ruth, that is also mirrored by Boaz for Ruth and in turn her Mother in Law. There is this lovely story of mutual support of two widows for each other and their Redemmer-Protector. Boaz. This story has a wonderful carrying love to it and it has a bit of that kind of love that sizzles. There is both care and sizzle from Boaz towards Ruth. Boaz notices her. There was something about Ruth that caught his attention and something about Ruth that wanted to protect her out there in his fields with other men. He obviously thinks Ruth is at risk or he wouldn't be recorded as saying he had given the men in the field directions not to touch her. Touch I think is a polite euphemism for jump her in the fields..as in having no respect for her what so ever and using her with no regard. The opposite of the regard Boaz was showing her. Ruth strikes me as such a brave and strong woman. First of all she has survived the death of her husband, secondly she is willing to go with Naomi her Mother in Law to a new country to be with her and make Naomis God her God. The walk of these two women is in some places possibly anywhere from 35 to 70 miles , over rough country , over the Jordan and not for the week of  heart. Think robbers, bandits , wild animals. Bad guys in general.

      So what  is different about Boaz and why does he get Good guy points:
He notices Ruth and when he receives a good report about her and learns she is with Noami who is a relative of his on her ( dead) husbands side he moves into action. He tells Ruth not to go into any other fields, stay with his servant girls and the men have been told not to touch her. When she is thirsty she can drink from the water the men have filled.Later in the day she is offered bread, shelter from the sun and some extra good share of the pickers harvest. Boaz repays her for he kindness to Naomi not only in word but in deeds. Ruth takes home some extra large helpings of harvest to share with her Mother in Law Naomi. When Naomi learns that Boaz has taken Ruth under his wing and he is a kinsman -redeemer for her family she tells Ruth to stay in his field until the end of harvest with his servant girls so she won't be harmed ..again this concern about the men abusing foreign women. Maybe it was something like well if we use a local girl their father or brothers will come and get us but this foreign widow here has no defenders so she is fair game. However Ruth did have some one . watching out for her.

  Boaz is expected under family obligations to serve as a protector for Naomi and Ruth but there seems to be someone closer in line to do that job that has not picked up on their duties. Naomi gives Ruth a little nudge, gets her to dress up all nice and pay Boaz a little night time visit when he has one to many after the yearly-  end of Harvest Hoedown. Boaz being a nice guy but not big on self confidence figures Ruth could have any other   man and doesn't pick up on subtle. Ruth has to kind of snuggle up and ask Spread the corner of your garment over me since you are a ..kinsmen -Redeemer which in normal language means lets get married and have babies as your the man for the job ( literally it is kind of his job according to local custom.

 Boaz not wanting to have Ruth's reputation ruined says he will work out the details in the morning and makes sure no one reports she was there and stay put. Not being naughty just staying at his feet...all the townspeople know you are a woman of good character.......Come morning he sends Ruth home with enough grain to feed them for a long time. It is the sign Naomi is waiting for a says" For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today. "For Ruth and Naomi it is like winning the relative lottery. They got a good one. Boaz has to go sit in the city gates and meet with the man who in many ways has the first crack at Ruth. Fortunately he is already otherwise engaged and Boaz settles the deal with the famous removal of a sandal and a public announcement of the purchase of property rights of the dead husbands and sons and acquired Ruth in the bargain. So with the locals blessing Boaz and Ruth marry have little Obed and live happily ever after . How do we know this story. Boaz is listed as the father of Obed, the father of Jesse the father of David. ( Ruth 4 -22) The we skip down to the New Testament in Matthew1:16 Boaz and Ruth via the House of David are grafted into the genealogy of Joseph , Mary and Jesus.

Boaz is caring, hospitable, protective, wise, a man of action, follows through on what he says he will do, guards many times the virtue of Ruth, loving and returning love. He redeems Ruth and her Mother in Law from their loss and life of poverty. He makes them her a part of the Family. It is interesting that with this kind of story of redeeming women with " less than " preconceptions of discrimination due to their country of birth or reputations that Jesus treated women who were like the Ruth's Tamar's and Rahab's listed in his genealogy with decency, equality and respect. . 



  

The Real Face of Jesus From the Shroud of Turin

Finding the Man who Loves Me

  

Here on my journey to find the Man Who Loves Me it is necessary to put on your women centered glasses. They look a bit like sun glasses but are designed to focus on women present content in the scriptures and church history. This is a search for women who loved Jesus and His Love for them in return. In order to do that we have to be like the woman in the parable who went is search of the lost coin and when she found it rejoiced with her friends. We are going to clean house and look for precious treasure. We will start at the Highest point of the Christian calendar which is also the day I started this Quest. Easter Sunday . The Resurrection

History is marked AD/BC by the importance of this event to mankind or as we have on women centered glasses womankind. It is the appropriate to find my first witness to the resurrection and the Love of Jesus in another woman that loved Him Mary Magdalene . Now Mary has been given a "working girl" reputation by the Church historically but there is no where in the scriptures that tell us that Mary Magdalene worked the streets. It does say that Mary was delivered of seven demons by Jesus. Perhaps Mary had some serious complex mental health care needs  before Jesus healed her  and it would help to explain her deep gratitude to Jesus or maybe considering the worship of idols in that time Mary had seven demons and the Bible calls it as it is. Either way once Mary was free she made a definitive choice to follow Christ. Now we know that Mary was not alone at the tomb and there were other women with her there waiting to anoint the Body of Christ. So we don't have to go on Mary's word alone. Whole groups of women followed Jesus and the disciples and helped care for their needs. The Bible doesn't say that the disciples provided for the women. It says the women provided for the disciples ( reference) Think about that for a minute...These women had the means to gather up expensive ointments for burial and go together to prepare his body. The women are named, they are present and they are affiliated with known others in the early followers. These are witnesses with credibility. Angels appeared to them . Angels tend to appear to people in the Bible as a sign that God means something important is about to happen or is happening. Does God think women are important. Apparently. Were they treated as second class citizens by Jesus or the Angelic beings sent by God. No. Were they told that women could not speak into the life of men. In John 20:15-18 we view the encounter between the Risen Christ and Mary Magdalene . 14 - At this she turned around and saw Jesus standing there but she did not realize that it was Jesus. 15 Woman, he said "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for Thinking it was the gardener she said Sir if you have carried him away , tell me where you have put him , and I will get him". Jesus said to her "Mary". She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic Rabboni ( which means Teacher) . 17 Jesus said, Do not hold to me for I have not yet returned to the Father . ( adjust your glasses , get ready for it.) Go instead to my brothers and tell them I am ( catch the I Am reference here ) returning to my Father and your Father to my God and Your God. 18  Mary Magdelene went to the disciples with the news I have seen the Lord ! and she told them that he had said these things to her. 

Here is Mary at the time who in this culture due to the fact that she was a woman not be considered a reliable witness being given the job of the most important news in all of History that the Long awaited Messiah, The I AM of Jewish history. This news is given to a woman. There is something else going on here. The Bible is big on symbols. In this story there are two angels appearing to Mary . We have one man and one woman. Angels.. If she thinks there is a Gardener then there must be a Garden to take care of. Well we have earlier Mary the Mother of Jesus and Joseph and angels but earlier then that we have Adam and Eve in the Garden. Women and man supposedly for all time were cursed for their sin and kicked out of the Garden which was protected by cherubim with a fiery sword. Now here we have The Garden Tomb, we have angels in conversation with this woman, we  have Jesus ,( who is called the second Adam)   and she is told to go and share the Good News of his resurrection that the awaited I AM has risen. Relationship is restored. It would seem the curse of humankind and woman kind is lifted.

Did Mary speak into the life of the male disciples. Did she impart Good News. Now if we follow this story along we find another important event women were at in the church.  Pentecost.  Acts 1:14 They all joined together constantly in prayer ,along with the women, and Mary the Mother of Jesus and his brothers. Women were in prayer with the disciples and present in the first outpouring of the Holy Spirit in the book of Acts.  

So we have Mary being told to Go, we have women in the early church being empowered by the Holy Spirit to speak of the wonders of God . We have symbols of women's release from the curse of the garden through both Mary the Mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene in her freedom. It seems women have been empowered to share the news of the Gospel. When and why does it change? There might be some answers but are they the right ones . Do the answers have to do with the Man who Loves Me . He seems to have treated women as equals in a time when women weren't treated as equals. In His time this was radical . It seems it still is. What happened in the church that in 2015 we are still arguing about the "place"of women. Why are verses that seem to free women overlooked and verses that subject women focused on intently. Why with at least fifty percent of the church female are we so unrepresented in sharing the very good news Jesus sent Mary out to share. She was told to tell her brothers the disciples. Why. Why if this message was so important was it not given to the male disciples first. Why not wait for Peter and John to show up and tell them first. Why Mary...because she loved Him. This seemed to matter. Mary was there early with the other women because they loved Him. They wanted to do something special for Him. They were not politically motivated. They were not arguing over who would be first in the Kingdom like the disciples had been. They were simply there because of Love and grief. It was no small risk for women to be out while it was still dark close to the area where there were Roman guards. Bad things could happen but they took the risk . But it was the women who saw Him first. ( Matthew 28:8 ) It was the women who were told to Go and tell. Holy women following Jesus. Praying , waiting , serving. caring. Women restored and transformed from their former lives into an intimate relationship with Christ. There is a lesson here for me as I gather information from the witnesses on the Man who they loved and the Man who Loves me. The love relationship is tangible. He showed up because He knew they loved Him and they would be there waiting . 

When my life is spiritually dry is it because I have forgotten to wait in the dark for the light of morning. Am I waiting to do something special for Him . Even if it seems He is gone . Do I still prepare to spend a little loving time with Him. Could it be He will surprise me? What little act of anointing and waiting for the beloved can I do today?

  " Our God Loves Us, this is our comfort." Elizabeth Seton.

The Man Who Loves Me

 Easter Sunday. 2015

 Today in my readings was a lovely story of a man's Love for his wife. They had been driving through the mountains on a vacation when their car went off the road and their car went in the river. They both escaped the car , and a passing trucker tossed a rope to the couple. The man pushed his wife toward the rope and she was saved. He however was caught in the current and did not survive. He gave his life for his wife.

       This is a similar sacrificial love to what we reflect on over the Easter Season. This Holy Weekend I am coming face to face with a man who loves me. He has been trying to show me in his relationships with women recorded in scripture that he deeply loves women and that he has a unique and sacred friendship with them. I have like many women been wrestling with women's roles in the church and it is way to easy to get focused on the number of males visible and the number of women in positions invisible and find yourself wondering when the church will "get with it". In saying Church I mean in general universal rather heavily tilted towards patriarchal controls way of thinking. I applaud my sisters who are out there in the heat of the day marking trails for other women, but a long time of inner reflection has drawn me to the conclusion that I am not one of those women. History has shown us that there are women who are trail markers but they do it in a different way. This is not about one way being better than another or valued any more or less. Is there a new yet ancient trail being opened in the church in the areas of Lay ministries that have a contemplative bent by people who have active lives of service/and active lives of prayer and spiritual practice?A part of me says Yes.! Yet is is not a well marked Path.
     
         This seems to be the path that is drawing me. Thomas Merton has a well known prayer about spiritual paths.

 "My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

 I may be a Martha in my work doing, but at the core of my being I am Mary sitting and being taught at the feet of Jesus. You notice I say sitting and being taught. That's where people sat when they wanted to be taught. Remember Paul saying he was taught at the feet of Gamaliel . Mary was there for two reasons...she was there because she loved Jesus and he loved her and she did not want to miss a moment of what he was saying. Mary was being taught.I am beginning to think that there are two current streams presently available for women in the church. There is the stream of the academic Martha who is equal in ability and call to males in the church and feels a strong need to enter that arena and I use the word in the Roman Gladiator sense  as she needs to be suited up or prepare for Martyrdom. There are also the Martha's who are the doers in the church without which the church would probably fall apart for lack of helping hands. Not that all women in the church don't pitch in from time to time but there are core Martha's. You know who they are . Thank God for Martha's.

        Then there are the Mary's. Now like the early story of Mary and Martha, Mary although respected by monastics for generations has come off in the current Protestant work ethic as being a bit of a slacker. Mary is presented to us as the woman who sat at the feet of Jesus adoring him. True.
Yes, Mary was adoring Jesus. Yes, but Mary was also learning. Mary as the Trappists would call it was in the School of Love. There is this place for work and fighting the good fight and there is this place for being in the School of Love. At this moment in time I am sensing a call to the School of |Love. For sometime now I have been walking in a Lay spirituality that is Benedictine/Cistercian in nature and learning about spiritual practice.

      Most of my life has been spent in working with persons with disabilities and recently along with this I have been able to follow a desire to facilitate with groups of women who have been in abusive relationships past or present. Some women have been abused in childhood and from their deep pain fallen into addictions and marginalized lifestyles. All are women for whom Love has meant something very different than the Love we find on the Cross, or the man who threw a rope to his wife and lost his own life. For these women whether they are the women sitting next to you in the pew silent in their suffering or the women pushing their carts towards the homeless tent city Love seems a long ways away. It is to these women , the women in the groups I am learning to facilitate with who have found love has let them down and for my friends in groups of women who are modern Mary's seeking a deeper relationship with Christ. I am on this Quest to find the Man Who Loves Me in Scriptures. Every time He reaches out to a woman in scripture He is reaching out to me, He is reaching out to women who have been in abusive relationships, and He is reaching out to women who want to follow Him in a his school of Love.   

           I want to learn from them about the the man who loved me enough to give his life for me. This is the place I start on my Easter Journey to find The Man Who Loves Me . 

    

Allegri - Miserere mei, Deus (Full version)

This heavenly music originally available to only a select few is a fitting opening to Holy Week and a contemplative pause.

Women He Loves: Holy Week Liturgical Time Travellers.

Its Palm Sunday the start of Holy Week and today I join with the crowds in this jubilant sense of joy. I found myself waving the palm branches and sharing in the excitement of the moment  even with the knowledge that this is Sunday but Friday is coming. Having spent the major part of my spiritually formative years in non liturgical church's where the season of Lent was not as well defined, each year brings a renewed sense of appreciation for the wisdom of a liturgical cycle.

When we come into these seasons we come with a community of others where each on us on our own journey are  there on the road , singing Hosanna and waving the palm branches. This time seems to mirror moments in our own life that we had such a great sense of anticipation. Like the ancient Jewish worshipers , we stand with them believing that God would somehow rescue us some great calamity in our life . This is the moment we have waited for !.

    The people on the road had preconceived ideas of what Jesus was about to do and how.He would fix there major problem.   He would become their King, defeat the Romans , release them all from Oppression and restore Israel to its great glory.Perhaps there would be a few thunderbolts, a bevy of destroying death angels, some great plaque that would wipe the Romans from the face of the planet and set them free. Here was the King riding on the promised donkey. There Deliverer had come! Hosanna.! Any moment now it would happen.!

       Perhaps you have been there standing with a family member around a death bed praying for recovery of cancer, watching a marriage fall apart, praying the Tornado will not hit, "fill your disaster in this box." You know the moment I am talking about. We have all had them. God has delivered us before He will do it again. This is our moment. The with wrenching faith shattering brutality the loved one dies, the broken marriage and the Tornado leave a pile of rubble ten miles wide and ten feet high and your house is lost somewhere under it. Only you and those around you are the trauma damaged survivors and perhaps a handful of faithful others are standing there looking up at the sky going What? This is not how we saw it working out.You were supposed to deliver us.!
    
        We are numbed, stunned , later angry and disenchanted, so disappointed we seem to have forgotten how to pray or have any desire to. Here like Theresa of Avila her carriage hanging over a bridge in a storm, the wind and rain about to hurdle her off into the river addresses her friend Christ with the famous lines" If this is how you treat your friends no wonder you have so few of them"

  We know this is about to happen to all these people waving the palm branches. Rapid disenchantment. We such high hopes for this one and He let us down. We thought He was the Messiah. We watch the crowd like Time Travelers on a liturgical journey and although we wave our palm branches and join in we do so with the knowledge of what is to come. We know the week goes down from here. We know there are beatings and scourging and the desertion of friends and a crucifixion. We know that they are about to crash from their high and stand like the people of Joplin Missouri after an F5. That look. What happened.! Friday is coming. Maybe that is what the F is in tornado's. The crucifixion was the F5 counter balance to these peoples joy.
It didn't work out the way they thought it would. Or at least in anyway they could understand.

  There is a commonality in the  the lives of the people standing on the road this Sunday and in the following days and the lives of women in support group recovery from abusive intimate relationships.
There is this sense of the great grief and destruction of being hit with an F5 experience.On your wedding day you were  like the people standing on the side of the roads waving your palm branches in great joy and anticipation. Wonderful things were going to happen, then suddenly, things went from bad to worse and no amount multitudinous attempts to fix it worked. God didn't seem to have come through and you and your children are left with a handful of broken promises and wondering when the next tornado would hit. The Passion of Holy Week, mirrors this experience . The beatings , the denial by friends, the cruelty of others, the separation of loved ones, the abandonment by those who had promised they would be there for you, a sense of being publicly naked for all to see, lasts not just for one week , but for months, perhaps without intervention, years. The process of being in , getting out and recovering from an abusive relationship and other devastating tragedies of our lives,  is best shadowed in Holy Week..,..and if we hold on to HOPE.  ,,,the light of the resurrection.

        We the Liturgical Time Travelers know that Palm Sunday, is followed by Holy Week, is followed by Easter the highest season in the Christian year. Somehow through this life F5 , Mary Magdalen  watched at the Cross was there present on Easter Morning.. That same joy of Palm Sunday is once again renewed in the joy of the Resurrection. Somehow from death , life came. Transformational , inexplicable, overcoming life greeted her on Easter morning. We have this hope. Here in the liturgical cycle of the the church is the mirror for the tragedies and  triumphs of our lives buried in Christ and renewed in the Resurrection.

        We the Liturgical Time Travelers know that Palm Sunday, is followed by Holy Week, is followed by Easter the highest season in the Christian year. Somehow through this life F5 , Mary Magdalen  watched at the Cross was there present on Easter Morning.. That same joy of Palm Sunday is once again renewed in the joy of the Resurrection. Somehow from death , life came. Transformational , inexplicable, overcoming life greeted her on Easter morning. We have this hope. Here in the liturgical cycle of the the church is the mirror for the tragedies andtriumphs of our lives buried in Christ and renewed in the Resurrection.
    


 There are times for reasons that we do not understand, beyond our furthest ability to grasp that awful, horrid, wretched things happen to people who seen to be wonderful, God fearing Christians. We try to find some theology that will answer those questions well, but the most honest of us are left without any really solid answers and find that it is often the gift of Presence in this disaster that brings the most healing. We bring the transformational light of hope of Easter into places where the Passion of Holy Week is still a present reality. There is this reality of Faith. We cannot count the number of times we have been blessed or spared but for some reason like the folks in Joplin Missouri an F5 marks our lives somewhere along our journey. Bad things happen to good people . The blunt reality of this truth is painful. The Christian life is not always one big fan filled Palm Sunday ride into Jerusalem . Stuff happens. Monday, Tuesday , Wednesday , Thursday and Friday happen.

         The whole Palm Sunday crowd who go from the mount of joy one week to the mount of the cross in the same week. We have this one promise that is unfailing through all this , through all the F5s of our lives..there is Friday but Sunday is coming. There is the hope of the resurrection, when even from darkest moment of our lives we know that Someone has gone there before us rolled the stone away. We come out of these F5s different people then when we went in. We have questions? We aren't the innocents standing waving Palm branches on Palm Sunday morning. We have the battle scars of people who have survived a F5 life event and still get a bit PTSD' ish when the sky gets dark , the wind starts to blow and the rain starts to come down in torrents. We want to believe He will rescue us , we want to believe it won't happen again but we have just seen too much to really Trust Him with our lives again. Where will we turn for help. There has to be something else that will work. So we try them and they come up empty. We try a long list of other things that will fill the pain left by our own F5 and the aching knowledge that God does not always rescue us from life disasters. Sometimes He does, sometimes He doesn't . It really feels like a kind of cosmic dice roll. Will you rescue me this time or not. Where will I find the healing balm that will fix this bottomless wound in my life that seems to have no answers to Who can I trust?.
              
 Perhaps , someone who has been through the same thing. This is the wonder of support groups. We find other people who have gone through the same thing and create a kind of healing energy in our mutual journey towards healing. Sometimes on these journeys we have a kind of Epiphany moment. Who really understands ?. I struggled with the male Jesus and the male God.  Love however made sense. A God who loved me made sense. A God who knew me intimately made sense.  But the most healing came not from a perfect Jesus. Not from a superman type cartoon Jesus but from the Jesus of the Gospels. The Jesus who had friends who were women Who he are dinner with, took flack for hanging out with marginalized women, who had women with broken marriages, incurable diseases, mental health, adultery, and poured oil over his head and wiped his feet with their tears . These were Jesus friends. He ate with them, he wept with them, he took the hit of public scandal along with them . He died with them standing looking up at his marred face and body praying for a miracle. They became those people who had lost all in a F5 level disaster in their lives. They were his friends, they were His followers. He was there and then he was gone. In a horrific way.

     But there was something in the love of these women. They wanted to do more. He had done so much for them they wanted and waited to do one last thing for them. Anoint his body. Love anoints a body. It reaches out and over looks the ugliness of death and pours love into the injuries. The healing in this relationship with Christ is not some theological text book explanation of the divinity of Christ but the simple realization that He loved them in their brokenness, he loved them when they were rejected by their world, and he loved them back to being the women they remembered they could be. The love of the Incarnation shone through this man, He touched them without betrayal. They could not find the words. They only knew that they had to be there, like He had been there for them.

 The resurrection of Christ present to us with wounds in His side and hands brings to us a wounded Lover of our souls. He is one with us in identification , He is resurrected with wounds when he could have been resurrected perfect. Why was the Jesus who arose from the dead still a bearer of wounds?...... This is a potentially Epiphany moment question you may want to pause for a moment and consider..... Why did he say to Thomas who still doubted put your finger in my side and hands. He is a survivor of an F5 moment. He comes to us as a mutual survivor. He says see I too know pain. Whatever depth of personal or physical pain you have been in I too have been there. When you ask,,Where were you? . He simply holds out His hands. We don't know why bad things happen to good people. We don't know why Christian women are abused by their husbands as much as women in the general population. It seems to be a well kept secret. Some of them are even pastors wives. It's a hard reality to accept.

   One avenue of healing starts in sitting with other women in supportive groups, from recognizing that they are not alone, gaining understanding about abuse and for many women rediscovering that beyond the darkness of abuse is hope. Broken trust is hard to heal. There is however Someone who identifies with our pain. He chose to keep the scars where we can see them so we know that He is one us. A wounded healer . This is the wonder of Holy Week. We find Him all along the journey. From our own broken dreams of the joys of Palm Sunday to the depth of abandonment of the Cross,,He it there with us ,,and we with Him on this long pilgrim journey of life towards the Resurrection.  

Saint Anthony-The faithful knight (Friar of the Saint Francis Order)Engl...

Job - Chant grégorien de l'abbaye de Fontfroide (Complies cisterciennes)

Christian Mindfulness - The Jesus Prayer Meditation

The Jesus Prayer Method by Archimandrite Sophrony

Illumination - Peaceful Gregorian Chants - Dan Gibson's Solitude [Full A...

So relaxing and restorative.

Celtic Music 10 hours

In honor of St.Patrick's Day a little reflective time with Celtic Music. The Celtic Christian Church has a wonderful spirituality to it and its roots go deep into ancient time. Just starting to listen to some of the ten hours of music. Wow.

Ocean of Mercy

St Faustina Kowalska

Dr. Bonnie Thurston - I Woke Up: Thomas Merton and Buddhism

Thomas Merton on St. Bernard of Clairveaux

Guided Meditation With Karen McAndless-Davis

Bob Carlisle -- We Fall Down We Get Up...preparing our hearts for Lent

 

 I have been having a very rough week , perhaps month that has thrown me off my contemplative center like a ship in a storm that has lost its anchor. I think perhaps I had been drifting for sometime but did not really notice it until "the storm hit:". This song has spoken to me for years and I have not  heard it for a long time. It may in some strange way as I heard it first long before I had started on any kind of contemplative journey but desired the peace and non judgmental attitude of the monk in this song . I did in fact start walking towards the hope held within the ideal of this monastery and today I once again commit my life fresh to the narrow road of a follower of  Christ on a contemplative journey.I need the basics to hold me on course. I need my anchor. I need to not drift away from the safe harbor of my faith and find myself on the rocks in a storm. As a mature Christian I have tried to avoid what we usually list as the big sins..not without struggle and not without work. However one can become so perhaps focused on avoiding the biggies that we don't notice the mice constantly nibbling away the rope that holds our anchor and we find ourselves in spiritual trouble.

 

 We get confident that perhaps we can handle stuff in our own strength and we get busy doing things , pursuing goals that call us like fruit on the tree, and we have gotten lost on a path that leads us away from the cool evenings in the garden with out walk with God. There is within the pursuit of a quality education for women in current academia particularly in women's studies a seeking to replace the patriarchal God with a female one. The idea is that She would be more friendly and be kinder to us than the one we currently have. That is really the essence of radical spiritual feminism. I am not talking about thinking or even seeking to relate to some of the wonderful and tender nature of the divinity of God in Christ . I am discussing the idea that there is a tier of well recognized feminism spirituality  that desires we dig up the old female idols worship them instead and toss out the patriarchal male God as an unworkable Deity for women.

 I just spent four months in a course on Western Spirituality from a feminist perspective and although I got an A in the course the cost to me spiritually in the long run far more than an A could ever be worth. I am not saying I did not learn something, I did. But there were things I learned that that I would have been better not sniffing around turning up old ancient ruins to see what was the belief system behind. Maybe some people can do this. I love archeology and history so it was an added fruit on the tree. I like women's studies and working on a becoming a women's support group facilitator as a focus of my degree which is why I took the course in the first place. I wanted to be able to be more sensitive to the belief systems of other women I might encounter and this was believe me the whole spectrum from mainline faiths to way out there.

      Lent is coming. I am the prodigal returning home, running into the arms of my loving Father. There is no other place I would rather be. No adventures to new lands of spiritual quest I desire to follow. For me it is beyond church attendance or doing things that are church wide helpful. I can show up and still be drifting. I need to be part of the communion of faith and the communion of Christ. but beyond that is the personal relationship.

 I begin again with the basics . For me they are the basics, of scripture , a book of common prayer with a simple divine office and a psalter, quiet time with God, working on any restoration of family relationships I may have ignored while out on my journey and the simple basics of life. We fall down we get up, it is I suppose the purpose of  Lent coming up. That we look a fresh where we are in our relationship with God and we turn back from our own way to realign our lives in the footsteps of Christ. We fall down, we get up and monastery bells call us to prayer..

Domestic Violence 1: Identifying Abuse (Finding Safety

Glory Revealed Tour: By His Wounds

For some time now I have been looking for the juncture of interests in women in abuse recovery and disability theology. They seem to be the two themes or threads of ongoing life time interest in my life and until recently I have thought about them as separate streams . As a source of strength for working in this field I have found it necessary to find quiet times of contemplation and find my source in God, scripture particularly the psalms and trying to listen for some form of direction in my life. A number of years ago while entering that phase in ones life where the children are grown and you are asking God what now? I had taken some time to sit in  the silence of a local church . Surrounded by the wonderful smells of fading incense and fresh beeswax candles, alone in the silence I sat reflecting on rather large crucifix . The little red light flickered in the corner indicating that Christ was present in the tabernacle and there was this sense of an accompanied silence in this empty sanctuary. Odd place for someone born and dunked in an evangelical church. 

   Through the deep waters of grief and loss in my life I had found the pat answers of a lifetime of familiar theology no longer held the answers for me. I was called deeper. Out of the dark water of struggle I found myself coming out desiring a richer liturgical worship style . There are times months, perhaps even years that one can sit in a church and hear nothing from God. You might get a little tingle a little buzz or you might just be there wondering what to serve for lunch after service. There are no guarantees in Contemplation. Sitting near the front row I had a close up view and noticed the nails in this image of  Christ seemed to incredibly large. I was aware that he had been held there by choice. What pierces your life, came a strong internal question. What pierces your life.? There was a kind of knowing that in this piercing like the nails and wounds of Christ even in the physical and interior wounds of a life pierced there was transformational potential present. Christ rose with these wounds and nail prints still present. He could have chosen to rise whole and unmarked but he didn't. Christ rose from the dead in his transformed body  still bearing the marks of the Cross.Put your hands in the wholes in my hands, and side said Christ to Thomas. He identified so strongly with both broken bodies and broken hearts that selected to appear still bearing the wounds. So here is the juncture of disability theology and broken hearts in the theology of the wounded and broken body of Christ. It is found in the Eucharist be it Catholic, Lutheran or Anglican and if you pay attention in the familiar words of communion in Protestant churches." This is my body that is broken for you". Really its what we do with that awareness that is the core theology hidden in the words. How do we translate the broken sacrifice of the body of Christ who was broken for us into a hungry for real bread that heals wounded souls?. How do we blend this transformational brokenness of the wounds of Christ with our own brokenness and wounds and share that transformational potential?. What pierces my life ? Somehow by finding our healing and meaning in the broken and pierced body of Christ as the source for all that is the essence of reality in our lives , we move into a transformational place that allows for healing not just for us but in sharing that  brokenness that pierced place in our soul, we bring others to to the potential of the healing wounds of Christ.  I find great strength in Sunday morning Eucharist but I live in a world that may be far from that reality. Maybe some days you are the only broken body of Christ the world sees. Will I risk is the question.? Will I risk in some way exposure of what pierces my life changing power of Christ. I don't understand the process I am just aware that there is a question ? What pierces your life?. Put your fingers in the my hands and side and understand that I resurrected imperfect in body into an imperfect and broken world. This is what Love looks like up close.

We are going to be looking a bit closer at what pierces the lives of many woman in a variety of areas of abuse and blend that with contemplative moments and a journey of shared learning into this world. We go here with the knowledge that we are accompanied on this journey by He who is pierced. He not only accompanies us. He has become one with us . Joined to us through the wound in His own body.

 

    

Medal of Honor recipient Fr. Kapaun's story in 1955 TV series The Good T...

"The Miracle of Father Kapaun."

Tribute to Chaplain Emil J. Kapaun