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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Taize

Taize night. Taize worship is like soft rain on a dry land. It is like falling asleep under one of those large duvets and resting deeply for one hour. It is spiritual nourishment . Here at Taize I remember why I am drawn to contemplative prayer and that I am not alone in the persuit of something different then the usual. Taize .. its always over to soon.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Little steps in growing grateful

This blog is called Growing Grateful for a reason. It is something I need to learn how to do, not something I already have . So this is a journey. Kind of like a knapsack I am trying to pack the gear I need for my finding grateful journey. Initial waking in the morning , especially since giving up coffee and tea have NOT been my wonderful time. Lent or no Lent 365 days of the year no coffee for some one who had an eight cup a day habit, my mornings now find me drinking some kind of heated dead weeds from someones back yard affectionately called " herbal tea". It takes me longer to find the " I want to do this day", button. I would find myself muttering negative things into the vacum of space the caffeine addiction had left. I may have muttered negative things before but two or three cups of coffee had a healing affect. The herbal tea initially didn't do it but I am grateful for it now. I decided to make a choice. Try to replace my negative early morning grumpy list with a I am blessed list. You can do it in the shower or in your quiet place. I am blessed with water and a hydro and a place to live. I am blessed with health or a job or whatever else is on your list. Just keep going. Think of all the things you are blessed with that are not necessarily just material. Family, nature , sensory ability, the fact that you can walk and hear and speak. You have a brain that can still say I am grateful. Maybe you have lost your job, or a loved one , or something precious. You are allowed to grieve that loss. That is good. But part of the loss is that you had the opportunity to love that someone and that alone was a blessing. I am not talking about artificial saccharin sweet gag me grateful. But I do mean genuine reflection on the gifts we have that separate us from an earth worm. If you need a place to start you can work your way up from an earthworm. What ever works for you. It is an old fashioned count your blessings , mixed with a bit of positive thought and replace the negative ones ancient therapy. Maybe you could just make a point of telling one person today or maybe one person each day this week . I am grateful for......Maybe you could have a morning I am blessed litany. I am open to suggestion. My exercise however this week has been to do a I am blessed list, and slow down and listen to the babbling brooks, the wind in the trees, the sound of birds in the morning and the sound an laughter of my kids voices. To start to listen for the hidden sounds of blessing in our day. To recite the ones I have . To say them when I want to complain because I simply got used to complaining. God help me count my blessing. Help me become a grateful person. Help me to see I walk among the Blessed. Take a quiet moment and read something inspirational. Ask for help for the day. I find myself doing this through the third snooze alarm. I am hoping" Oh God Help me today" counts as a prayer to Whoever is counting. Finding Grateful has taken me back to beginner land and starting from scratch to learn how to grow grateful.